


the 1

by kakegoe



Series: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, Light Angst, Wistful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:34:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27328144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kakegoe/pseuds/kakegoe
Summary: The greatest loves of all time do not always guarantee forever. No matter how perfect you are for each other, if they're not the one, then an ending is always at the horizon. You may long for all that have been, but along a bittersweet feeling of yearning is acceptance.
Relationships: Shimizu Kiyoko & Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Sugawara Koushi
Series: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995268
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	the 1

**Author's Note:**

> first day (prompt: longing) entry for #HaikyuuAngstWeek2020. inspired by taylor swift's the 1.

There was a thing to autumn Kiyoko loved most. Atop the cosy scarves and delicious pies amidst soft howling winds, the melancholy of bright summer rays settling down, replaced by the cold of winter over the horizon brought a surge of wistful feeling she always missed, leaving a bittersweet taste on her tongue for every sip of coffee she took in the morning.  
  
And there was that other thing too. Sugawara Koushi and the memories of him— _them,_ in roaring 20s, childlike, dancing under rains with petrichor in their noses, throwing pebbles into newfound lakes thinking it was forever. And maybe it _was_ forever, they almost believed, but with whom you spent most of your life with was often not _the one._  
  
It was ironic to begin to think of warm eyes under curtains of silver hair, to think of grey irises that glinted in delight under pink-rimmed glasses—all in the cold nostalgia falling pumpkin leaves brought. In the summer smiles and spring comforts Sugawara made known through plasters of reminiscences, and the reliefs in the rains Kiyoko gave—there was a contrasting sensation to autumn, and yet, equally fair, like they were meant to be just that: mere vivid remembrance of each other’s beautiful fall.  
  
What they had was not big on gesture; it was not something they felt the need to tell the world of. It was home in soft stares and fleeting touches, quiet togetherness over shared 3PM candies, silly pinky promises on the long yet short-lived walk home. What they had was small, but they made it count; there were the little things that mattered most.  
  
It had come as a question at some point; the realisation that their ending had to happen for everything to finally fall into place. _If one thing had been different, would everything be different today?_ … No. While they seemed to have completed each other, hands perfectly fitting in spaces between each other’s fingers, bodies pressed in one entirety, it did not seem much of a whole as it should have. And it was then when they realised, that while they fitted each other perfectly, in truth, they were pieces of two different puzzles.  
  
Autumn was a routine, a time to flip back to the chapters of the book, to where it was about him and her. Rereading it made it hard not to miss the perfectly played out writings of before—but it was the kind of missing that made them sit back and let the montage of the old days replay in their heads, a bittersweet smile on their lips, not wanting any more of what used to be, yet not wanting less too. They missed it simply for everything it had been, but they have long accepted that they were foregone.  
  
_“Maybe at another point of the timeline, we’ll find ourselves walking back to each other. And maybe then…”_ He trailed off in a wistful tone then, a small, sentimental smile plastered. _“Maybe then it’ll feel right.”_  
  
And Kiyoko understood what he meant then, staying quiet in his presence as they tossed pennies into the pool in soft silence, savouring the last minutes they will ever have of each other. Kiyoko understood fairly; it is not that they were each other’s right person in the wrong time, rather simply, they just weren’t each other’s person.  
  
_Maybe then…_ but _then_ did not come, and the _maybe_ that it carried morphed into a clearer definition of _never_. And if their wishes came true, then it would have been them at the endgame. But the hopeful probabilities only hung in lines of haphazard history and impossibility. And it was fine. They accepted it.  
  
There was a thing to autumn Kiyoko loved most. Atop the cosy scarves and delicious pies amidst soft howling winds, the melancholy of familiar silver hair and summer smiles in the form of a bygone lover always made itself known. Here, in the same fountain they used to toss pennies into during their days, Kiyoko and Sugawara stood almost always at the same time of the same day every year, throwing coins like they used to, only not wishing together anymore.  
  
Maybe Sugawara was right: they will find themselves walking back to each other. And they did. _Maybe then it’ll feel right._ And it did, only they walked to different homes at the end of the day and it felt right in the utmost truth that they were not each other’s anymore. It felt right that they stood beside each other as mere figments of the past.  
  
They were something, but sometimes, something did not mean much of anything. Sometimes, something meant nothing. And though they have missed all of their wondrous days, at this very moment, it was fine like this.


End file.
